Fifteen years ago, one day I was very upset about some very small things. I was casually complaining to my mentor, asking, “Why can’t simple things just be simple? Why does everything have to happen this way? Why do I have to do all this?” His answer stayed with me. He said something like, “Do you know how many people simply want to reach where you are? The number may cross millions. Perhaps these responsibilities are coming to you because you are capable of handling them. Maybe they are refining you, preparing you for something more meaningful.”
That conversation did not magically turn me into someone who stopped complaining about life. I still get frustrated. I still have difficult days and wonder why certain things have to be so complicated. But it gave me another angle from which to see reality. It added another dimension to my frame of reference.
Later, during our study circles and book club sessions, different books, courses, discussions and field visits kept adding more such questions.
How many women are income-tax payers?
What does the poverty line actually mean on the ground?
How big is the gap between having a job and being jobless, between being poor and being financially secure, between being literate and illiterate?
How many people own a car?
How many are completely debt-free?
How many can start their own business?
How many can enjoy music, movies, garden and art?
How many have access to proper healthcare?
How many have a permanent roof over their heads?
How many of us go to bed without worrying whether we will have enough food for dinner?
How many children are able to choose science simply because they want to?
How many people know about the facilities and opportunities available to them but cannot access them because they were never educated enough to know?
Then there are the statistics around farmer suicides, women’s suicides, unemployment, malnutrition, healthcare access and countless other realities.
“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
―
Numbers can sometimes make us uncomfortable. But numbers can also make us humble. Recently, something happened to me that made me think about this again. I found myself wondering: how many people can reach a hospital quickly enough when an emergency happens? How many lives could be saved simply because someone has a nearby hospital, transportation, money, awareness and somebody who knows what to do? And how dramatically would these numbers change when we look specifically at women, especially those with limited mobility, financial independence or decision-making power?
I am not writing this to make us feel small or guilty about having opportunities that others don’t. Quite the opposite. I want us to realise something: perhaps we are not as ordinary as we think.
The tiny fraction of people who have access to certain opportunities may still be millions in absolute numbers. But compared with the billions of people in the world, we may actually be among the fortunate few. And being one of the fortunate few comes with a responsibility. Not necessarily a burden, but a responsibility.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
―
If you can teach someone their ABCs, perhaps you have something valuable to give. If you understand the importance of an emergency fund, perhaps you can help another family avoid a crisis. If you know how to recognise warning signs of mental distress, perhaps you can help someone reach professional support before it is too late. If you have a listening ear, you may become the person someone desperately needed on a difficult evening. If you know how to navigate a hospital, a government facility, a scholarship, a health scheme or an educational opportunity, perhaps you can help someone else reach it too.
The list is endless. And sometimes we underestimate how much we already know. We keep waiting to become more qualified, more successful, more experienced, more financially secure or more perfect before we start contributing. But perhaps we are already capable of doing something meaningful.
The biggest barrier I have repeatedly noticed in people is not always a lack of resources. Sometimes, the biggest barrier is the person himself or herself. We become so tangled in our own minds that we cannot see the light around us. We become so focused on what we don’t have that we forget to notice what we can offer. We keep searching for contentment somewhere ahead of us while overlooking the abilities, opportunities and people already within our reach.
Maybe the question is not always, “Why is life giving me so much to handle?” Maybe sometimes we can ask, “What does my ability to handle this make possible?”
And perhaps that is another way of understanding how ordinary we are. Not by comparing ourselves with the richest, most successful or most accomplished people, but by asking: How many people have what I have? How many can do what I can do? And what can I do with it?
Because being fortunate is not necessarily about having more. Sometimes, it is simply about having something that someone else desperately needs—and recognising that you have it.
Maybe we are far more capable than we realise. And perhaps the moment we recognise that, our search for contentment slowly changes into a search for purpose.
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
―
